To A Sad Seafarer's Maiden,

My heart is with you, page by page. I dropped my hope into the ocean, watched you carry it away. Below the surface, I see clearer than I ever did before that every heart's an anchor, and we're tethered at the core. Sleepless nights, out alone by the waves, I wished that, to you, I could be anyone, since I'm not who I want-- who you want-- me to be, neither man, nor lover, nor son. If you were a star, I would wish upon you that someday your own wishes would at once become true, and that somewhere among them, deep down in your heart, you'd been wishing that we would never be apart.

I know that someday I'll be with you, maybe, but I can't keep on sailing on masts you build up with sad eyes and sad smiles and sad hearts, and I don't know if this thing can last. I don't know if I can keep living this way, so forgive my departure from you. Know that you're always with me, in dreams and in days-- to ask the same is the most I can do.

I'm keeping close to no one. I'm setting sail for nowhere. I'm a self-made shipwreck, and your flashing lights are all I have left.

And someday when you're older, maybe you'll go walking on the beach at sundown, and the way the waves pull at your feet will remind you of older days and how we couldn't be-- all the reasons I left. And did I ever find an answer in the sea? You'll dig up my old chest, waterlogged, but open it and inside you'll see this same heart-- listen close, hear it beat; hear it sing songs of days long ago, of you and me. Hear that same old refrain, how you kept me alive. Hear the story of the sailor; wipe the tears from your eyes, and remember my captain; remember his crew. Love, hold my heart close to your own, because it's you alone I wanted and for you that I tried and for you that I've been searching for my entire life. You were out there in the ocean. You were waiting there for me. For you, I set sail for the bottom of the sea!